I was reminded this week that “simple” tasks aren’t always as simple as they sound.
This past week I kept putting off what sounded like a ridiculously simple task: edit a scheduled LinkedIn article.
I just need to take care of this.
Except “take care of this” turned into finding the article first—which was harder than it should have been! I kept looking under scheduled posts, only to find that it lived somewhere else. That meant checking the Help Center, reading instructions, asking their AI for help, finding the right pathway, changing the article from scheduled back to draft, making the edits, and then scheduling it all over again.
None of those steps was really that hard. There were just more of them than I realized.
That got me thinking about how often we judge ourselves (and each other) by how simple we think a task should be, rather than what the brain actually has to do to complete it.
Last week I wrote about uneven financial awareness—how two people can know the same numbers and still see a very different financial picture.
Sometimes that’s because one person simply knows more of the details. But sometimes there can be another reason.
ADHD can affect the way money gets noticed, remembered, organized, and acted on. And if you’re the other partner, that can be incredibly frustrating when you don’t understand what’s happening.
You may be thinking, Why do I have to keep reminding you? Or, If this mattered to you, you’d take care of it.
Meanwhile, the person with ADHD may care a lot. They may also be embarrassed that things that seem simple to other people feel harder for them.
I asked Cindy Baker, an ADHD coach, to weigh in on this because I think it’s such an important distinction. She put it this way: “ADHD can affect how someone prioritizes, plans ahead, tracks deadlines, and follows through—even when something is really important to them. Someone may genuinely care about saving money but still struggle with an impulse purchase, remembering a bill, or taking action toward a long-term goal when more immediate things are competing for their attention. Caring about something and consistently following through on it can be two very different things.”
What I find helpful about understanding this is that it can change the tone of the conversation. Instead of immediately assuming your partner is irresponsible, careless, or just not trying, you can get a little more curious about what’s happening.
Maybe whatever system you have relies too much on memory. Maybe there are too many steps. Maybe the task feels vague. Maybe one of you needs more visual reminders, more automation, or shorter conversations.
And yes, sometimes help from the outside makes sense too...
Because once you understand that you may not be seeing or processing the same financial world in the same way, you have a much better place to start.
Looking underneath the task, Dee
P.S. If you’d like me to connect you with an ADHD coach—or a financial coach who understands ADHD and money—email me here or simply reply “Coach.” You can also download Cindy’s free Focus Blueprint here.
