Holiday Money Scripts: This Isn’t the Month to Fix Everything
It's a tricky time of the year! If you're not already aware of your money scripts (the beliefs, patterns, habits, and emotions that secretly run the show) they will take the wheel in December. And the result? Stress, overspending, tension with your partner, and a January you regret.
But let’s be honest. If those patterns haven't been addressed before the holidays, is December really when you're going to tackle them? Probably not.
This season is too tempting, too emotional, and too full of distractions. That mix of sentimentality, comparison, generosity, expectation, and cultural pressure is a perfect storm. We spend. We give. And sometimes we do it in ways that feel good in the moment, but hurt us later.
The Hidden Dynamic Between Partners
For couples, this month can amplify everything. One partner might be in full holiday-magic mode, spending freely and wanting to make memories and avoid friction. The other might be anxiously watching it all unfold, feeling like they have no control and no good way to speak up without sounding like the Grinch.
Attempts to talk about it can quickly turn into arguments and resentment. And then comes the guilt: "I don’t want to ruin the season."
It’s a lose-lose dynamic if neither of you knows how to approach money conversations without fear or defensiveness. And the holidays are rarely the time to learn on the fly.
So What Should You Do Instead?
This may surprise you: don’t try to fix your money patterns this month. You're not a black belt yet. You don’t do your toughest sparring match on your very first day, or your most emotional month.
Instead, take the most important first step:
Practice Awareness
Think about weight-loss advice. One of the first things you're told to do is keep a food journal. You don't overhaul everything. You just start noticing what's happening.
Do the same with your money this month. No judgment. No shame. No drastic changes. Just observe.
Ask yourself:
What am I spending on?
What emotions show up before or after a purchase?
What expectations are driving these choices?
Where do I feel pressure to give more, do more, or be more?
What patterns show up between me and my partner?
This season reveals so much about what's actually going on beneath the surface—your money stories, your fears, your values, and your defaults. Most couples have never slowed down enough to notice them.
That’s why awareness is the very first work we do in Wealth Together, the program I created for couples who earn well and want to work well together. Before we touch systems, strategies, or habits, we build awareness. You have to understand what's driving your money decisions before you can reshape them.
Awareness is data. Awareness is power. You can't change what you're unwilling to see.
But, if you want one actionable shift (and I usually give one!), here it is:
A Simple Tip to Protect Yourself
Make a list before you shop. When you're calm (not in the store, and definitely not online at midnight) decide:
What would my loved ones truly appreciate?
What feels like “enough”?
Where can we choose time together rather than things.
Try to stick to the list and be intentional, but don't beat yourself up if you don’t follow it perfectly. The point this month is starting that awareness. And guess what?
January Is Your Reboot
Yes. January is the time. You don't have to fix anything in December. You don't have to solve your partner dynamic this month. You don't have to overhaul your financial life while holiday music is playing and you're sipping that peppermint mocha from Starbucks (though goodness, ask them to go easy on those syrup pumps!).
January is coming. It’s a calmer season, and an excellent time for the real work. Only when you're ready will change stick. But if you want January to be different—and 2026 to be thee year—start now. With awareness. Notice what's happening. Observe the patterns without trying to force solutions.
This is exactly how we do it when couples work with me. Awareness first. Everything else flows from there.
Will You Take This First Step?
Your future partnership will thank you for it. And honestly, I will be delighted right alongside you. So go catch some snowflakes on the tip of your tongue and be a little easier on yourself this season.
Sending you my love.
P.S. If this idea of awareness is already stirring something in you, you’re right where you need to be. In January, I’ll be offering an important starting point for couples who want to explore their money world without diving in headfirst. It’s the very first step of the Wealth Partnership Pathway and, if it feels right, it leads into the foundational work we do inside Wealth Together. I’ll share more about that soon.
For now, the most supportive thing you can do isn’t to fix anything. It’s to notice what’s underneath your money conversations. The Money Talks Quiz is the easiest way to begin that awareness. Your results will give you language, insight, and a place to start when the new year arrives and you’re ready for the next step.
